Recognize Your Privilege, Guero

Working at a Mexican restaurant in Florida, I was called many nicknames on the job: Joto, Maricon, Mariposa; but, one stuck to me like a sore thumb that it pained me to hear it on a daily basis: Guero. Although my Spanish wasn’t perfect, but I could roll my tongue with perfection, the nickname “Guero” was the acclaimed nickname that manifested into then being my primary name. To hear it slip off everybody’s tongue was horrifying to experience. “Guero, agarra la fregona y limpia el baño!” my manager would scream across the restaurant. Or even the occasional, “Guero, you’re not even Mexican” from my coworker which would possess me to get angry and storm off to collect some dishes. When I moved back to California my senior year of high school, I was introduced to Chicanx Studies by my counselor which then pushed me into curiously taking my first course in community college. Learning the culturally enriching history of my Mexican heritage would manifest into me claiming Chicanx Studies as my major right after finishing the first semester as a confused, undeclared, undergraduate. With the disclaimer of being “Brown and Proud” coming with taking a Chicanx Studies course, I proudly claimed that I, indeed, was “Brown and Proud”. It wasn’t until my final year of community college when I met my friend Yessica who jokingly stated “Friend, you need to check your white passing privilege!” With an ugly cackle of laughter leaving my mouth, I then paused. They were right. I came to the realization, after going home that night, that my high school years and early community college years were filled with delusion. No I was not “Brown”, I had features that could be seen as white and I needed to recognize my privilege as somebody who could pass for white. I couldn’t claim the experience as a person of color if I’ve never faced the same experiences and struggles a person of color has. Colorism is dangerous and continues to thrive within the Latinx community where European standards of beauty are celebrated and darker complexions are seen as inferior. Listen Guerx’s, grab a tissue to wipe those white passing tears away because I’m here to tell you that you cannot claim the experience of a person of color if you’ve never faced the experiences and struggles a person of color has faced (Patricia Gutierrez). A life lesson was learned, I wasn’t “Brown”, but, hell, I am Proud to be a Mexican.